Lesson learn from our Parents
For the past 10 years I have been reading ( and listening to) books, quotes, TED talks, and lectures on personal development. It is really fascinating and inspiring to learn about the motivational journeys of famous athletes, businessmen, entrepreneurs, religious and spiritual leaders and even the “common man” that overcame adversities in their lives. It sure makes me think a lot and helps me focus on becoming a better person. If I learnt one thing, it is that I must be the change I want to see in this world. It all starts with me.
In my own life journey, I have come to realize that all successful individuals tend to have some things in common. They usually have a life goal, they tend to fight for a cause, and they also are working to help others. In doing this, they find the answer to the most important question – who am I and why am I here?
Below are a few quotes that lead me to think and write this.
1. One must help others to achieve their life goals. One must never stop others from achieving other life goals.
2. If you try to actively stop others from achieving their goals, you are going to get distracted. The time spent in preventing others from succeeding is better spent focusing on your own success.
3. To build your personal ledger one must live out his personal ledger every day.
Most people want to succeed in their personal ledger without living up to their personal ledger.
4. Most people don’t want to be part of the process; they just want to get straight to the outcome. But the process is what takes you to the outcome, and the process is where you figure out who is even worth getting to the outcome!
5. When you help others achieve their goals you are making a deposit in the Universe towards your own long-term success.
I was satisfied with what I have managed in my life, and how much I know today compared to where I was a few decades ago. Growing up in Pakistan, I did not have access to so much wisdom and so many ways to get that wisdom to help improve my life and allow me to have such a broad perspective. All these learnings have helped me grow from a squash player and a pro to a successful coach, entrepreneur, writer, and life coach. But, as I was writing this, I began to wonder- my parents did not have access to all this information, they could not even read or write, yet they did well. They were happy, successful, cheerful, and peaceful. They did not have much in terms of materialistic possessions, but always had smiles on their faces. Nowadays, we have so many people suffering from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger. There are talks of a mental health crisis all around.
When I thought about the “unknown hand” to help every time my parents need help, this is what my heart reminds me of.
Parents are parents of everyone. We were told that everybody who is the age of our parents is our parent too. We must treat them like our own. Respect them and offer whatever help they need.
Children are children of everyone. We must have the same feeling for other children as we have for our own. We were afraid of doing silly things outside the home because if any of our neighbors saw us doing it, he/she would admonish us and tell our parents. And if someone needed to do some chores, neighbors would watch the kids, babysit them, feed them and take care of the children like they would take care of their own kids.
Dukh. (sorrow) Your pain and suffering are everyone.
When there is a tragic event or death in the neighborhood, everyone comes together and helps out for as long as needed. If someone lost a loved one, people would send food for weeks and they would come and sit with the family that was suffering to show their support. And when there was a marriage at home or when relatives came to visit, neighbors would send extra bedding to help the family offer a comfortable stay to the guests.
Happiness is everyone’s happiness. If there was a wedding in the neighborhood, people would open their homes to have guests stay with them, and they would send beds/bedding and other things to the family that was hosting a large number of guests which is typical in our weddings.
Everyone’s mental and emotional well-being matters. People really cared and made sure that everyone was treated with equal respect. For the more financially blessed ones, they would make sure that their status does not reflect in their attitude or behavior toward others. They would still show the same respect for their neighbors no matter how rich or poor their neighbors were. And it worked the other way too! People would make sure that they don’t come across as jealous if their friends were doing well in life. They would make sure that their behavior in no way conveys that they are trying to take any advantage of other, more successful people.
I came to know now why they did not need these books just because they were living every day of their life and making small deposits for their own long-term success. It was a blessing to have seen them living closely together as one big family all these years and raising the amazing next generation of human beings.
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